Couples Therapy Can Help You Restore Intimacy & Connection
Whether you have been with your partner for months, years, or decades, you may feel as though you are drifting apart. Maybe you used to talk about everything, but now you only seem to discuss the dishes. You might feel as though you take on the majority of household responsibilities while your partner takes your efforts for granted. Maybe little things frequently build up into big arguments, and you feel as though you are never really heard.
You might feel lonely, even when you are in the same room as your partner. Talking to your partner might be about to-do’s vs. connection. Perhaps your partner seems to pay more attention to his or her TV, phone, or computer than to you. You may wonder why you bother going home after work. Maybe your partner has violated your trust, and you aren’t sure how to feel safe and secure in your relationship again. You might just want to feel appreciated and special again.
Many Relationships Change Over Time
Bonding with others is incredibly important to human begins. A romantic relationship is often the deepest bond or connection we have. When we have built a connection with another person and something disrupts that connection, we can feel angry, scared, or unsafe. Sometimes, you might find yourself reacting to those emotions by shutting down or snapping at your partner. It’s not uncommon for couples to get stuck in a pattern of bickering and negativity.
“Working with our couples therapist, we’ve learned tools to use during tough times to prevent arguments.”
It’s also very common to experience tension in a relationship after the “honeymoon phase” has ended. You and your partner might neglect to take the time to show love and appreciation to one another in the same ways or frequency you did when you first fell in love. As time passes, many people grow, change, and develop new values or new desires. Significant life changes and stressors, such as the birth of a child, a move, or financial worries, can also weigh on a relationship.
Everyone wants to feel loved and valued, but not all of us are skilled at communicating our needs. Many people lack positive communication role models. Others simply struggle to identify and articulate their emotions. But, with help, you can learn healthy ways to express your feelings, communicate more effectively and reconnect with your partner.
Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity
Trust issues should be taken very seriously in a relationship. Trust is the key to connection, safety, and partnership. If you’ve noticed recently that your partner won’t answer the phone in front of you, or hides the phone when you’re around, you may have concerns. Or perhaps you’ve noticed that your partner is staying up late at night on the computer. Whether you suspect that an emotional or physical affair is taking place, or you know that infidelity has occurred, hope is not lost. Couples therapy can help you and your partner heal and restore your relationship. It takes time to rebuild trust, but it is possible!
Couples Counseling Intensive
A typical 45-minute session every week may not provide the necessary time to work through all your concerns especially after infidelity or when one partner is deciding whether to leave the relationship. In these cases, you might consider doing a couples counseling intensive, which is an extended session lasting 2 hours or even longer. These extended sessions allow you and your partner enough time to get to the root of the issue and begin the process of repairing your relationship. A couples counseling intensive is hard work but it can save a relationship.
With Couples Therapy, You Can Rebuild Your Relationship’s Foundation
At the Houston Center for Training & Supervision, Robin Exum M.Ed., LPC-S, LCDC, NCC is specially trained in couples therapy. We can help you clear away the anxiety, fear, anger, and sadness that may be blocking your way to healthy expressions of deeply held emotions. If you are clouded by negativity, you might feel hopeless and disconnected. But, you can learn to express your needs and truly know your partner again.
Robin Exum is non-judgmental, compassionate, and understand how the brain responds to social and relationship cues. If you feel as though you and your partner have been having the same old argument over and over,Robincan help you develop tools to recognize and break out of that pattern. He wants to help both you and your partner communicate without fear of blame. Robin can help you learn the language of open and honest communication, which is free of criticisms, defensiveness, or personal attacks.
“I can honestly say we haven’t been happier; all the things we’ve learned in therapy so far have really helped.”
In couples therapy sessions, you and your partner can learn to clarify your needs, communicate them, and listen to one another. Robin will help you both implement healthy habits to meet your needs, as well as your partners. For example, you might ask for a “Thank you” to show appreciation. Your partner may need a daily kiss to show love. Robin will also assess how each of you handles conflict and identify strategies to reach effective resolution.
Every couple and person is unique, so Robin will help you identify the specific places that feel unfilled in your relationship, whether it be in physical intimacy, emotional intimacy or communication styles for example. In sessions, Robin can help you remember what first drew you to your partner and made you fall in love. With communication training and practice, you can develop a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.